((( THE PINA COLADA SONG )))

I was tired of my lady, we'd been together too long

Like a skipping recording of a never hit song

So while she lay sleep farting I read the paper in bed

And in the personal columns, there was this letter I read

If you like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain

If you're not into yoga, but you do snort cocaine

If you like making love at midnight, with a dead polar bear

Don't come over to my house, you just stay over there

I didn't think about my lady, I know that sounds kind of mean

But she's always in curlers and really smelly cold cream

So I wrote to the paper, took out a personal ad

And though I'm nobody's poet, I thought it wasn't half bad

If you like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain
If you're ARE into yoga, and you don't snort cocaine
If you like making love at midnight, in the warm summer air
When you're feeling romantic, and you let down your hair

So I waited with high hopes and she walked in the place

I knew her smile in an instant, I knew the curve of her face

It was my own lovely lady not wearing that crap

Then we laughed for a moment "I guess you've had the last laugh"

If you like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain
If you're ARE into yoga, and you don't snort cocaine
If you like making love at midnight, in the warm summer air
When you're feeling romantic, and you let down your hair

That you like piña coladas and gettin' caught in the rain
And the feel of the ocean and the taste of champagne
If you like making love at midnight in the dunes on the cape
You're the lady I've looked for, come with me and escape

*New Karaoke Song